Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Universe can get....

They say bad news comes in three's, whoever "they" are, lied!

My family are battening down the hatches and quiet possibly want the world to get the hell off our backs.

In April my grandfather had another stroke, he is still in hospital and will remain so until he can eat solid foods. He is still having problems with liquid foods going into his lungs etc.
Then we had word a family friend was in palliative care with brain tumors, he passed away on Tuesday May 18th leaving behind one of the most loving and fun families I know.

By ANZAC day my boyfriend had a mental meltdown and my grandmother was in hospital with an inflamed knee...but not the same one as my grandfather. J is getting more help for his mental health issues and hopefully will get his world together. Nona needs a knee replacement at some point but won't have it done as she is the main carer for my grandfather, however Mum said her medications were not right and were not controlling the inflammation etc so she was required to stay in hospital to get that right.
My mum has been driving the 90mins each way to the Central Coast to their place to do their washing then visiting both in their respective hospitals. I have offered to do the run as Mum tires quickly now since having her operation in Nov last year. But she won't have it, it's her mum and stepdad and she feels it's her duty alone I guess. We are such a healthy glowing bunch :S
I rang Mum last night to let her know Gonzo had gone and she had more bad news. My Uncle Lance is dying, he has cancer and has withered down to 43kg, he is 6'3"! My Dad is in Western Australia working but doing a mad dash back to New Zealand to be with my Uncle in his last days. It is around now 13years ago they lost their Mum, my grandma Grace, or Fred as my brother and I call her to Emphysema. See I told you we are a healthy glowing bunch! Blah!

On top of all this E is having a horrible time at school with bullies and a school that do nothing! It infuriates me the lack of care at this school. Next Friday I will go pick up his report done by a psych which looks into his learning issues and what can be done to help him. I hope we find some answers. If we do, I am going to use that report as a shield to push, fight and force my way into finding him a good school.

I am at the point where I just want to curl up and cry, but that is not how my Mum raised me. Instead I will pull up my socks and solider on with my brave face on supporting everyone else around me, crying any tears in private when I have time for myself.

When all this started I cast on the Feather and Fan Shawl from A Gathering of Lace in 8ply Bendigo Rustic in Radiant, a gorgeous red shade. A blanket to put all these emotions into, a big hug to myself when its done. So if I have been quiet you now know why, life has been hard and I am fighting in this emotional shitty battle. Maybe soon I will find a place of rainbows and butterflies, a place of no pain or loss...ok so that doesn't exist, so I will take any joy, happiness or love the world wants to toss my way instead cause my family could really do with a good dose of any of those :)

HUGS, big squishy warm hugs!
The world seriously needs more hugs, smiles and love. O X :)


Anonymous said...

A big squishy hug from me....

Lynne said...

*hugs back*

Storm Angel said...

Thank you ladies. Means the world to me right now.